Monday, December 7, 2009

New Extreme Sport: Model Tipping

A new extreme sport has been created for all who love those barechested male cover models like those found at the Romantic Times convention. The sport is Model Tipping*, and here's how to play.

Model Tipping is similar to the traditional Southern game of "cow tipping" but is also similar to pro wrestling, cattle rustling, and catch-and-release fishing. Players capture the models in various snares, take photographic evidence of the capture, and then release the model into the wild. The important thing to remember is the catch-and-release part. We don't want to injure the cover models who make RT their natural habitat. Bruises are never sexy, ladies. If you're interested in playing, these are the rules that must be followed:

1. No weapons allowed, this includes clubs. We're not Neanderthals on the prowl for mates. This is a fun sport.

2. Sitting on or pinning models to the floor for longer than three (3) seconds will result in disqualification.

3. Hog-tying is permited but the model must be released after photographic proof of the capture has been taken.

4. Duct tape is not permited. However, leather straps are allowed. Creative use of bungee cords can result in bonus points being awarded.

5. All models carry a base point value of 20. Certain "advance models" carry a higher value, as shown below:
  • Fabio = 500 pts

  • Fabio in loincloth = +25 pts

  • Adrian Paul = 1000 pts

  • Adrian Paul with Highlander sword = +50 pts
  • Adrian Paul with Highlander sword, kilt, and bare chest = +500 pts
  • Any former Mr. Romance title holder = 100 pts

  • Any former Mr. Romance title holder with bare chest = +25 pts

  • Current Mr. Romance contestants = 50 pts

  • Current Mr. Romance contestants with bare chest = +15 pts
6. Photographic evidence of the capture must be taken to ensure proper point values are awarded.

7. Visible bruising of the models will result in disqualification.

8. Failure to release captured models after photographic evidence is taken will result in disqualification.

9. Capturing the same model repeatedly will not advance your score. One capture per player, per model.

10. All rules and point values are subject to change.

11. Game play prohibited were restricted by law. Other restrictions may apply.

12. No purchase necessary.

Remember, ladies, Model Tipping is a catch-and-release sport. Models tend to be sly and can be tricky to capture. Use your wits. Keep the field of play clean and safe. Have fun.

My thanks to Jennie Bentley and Kelli Stanley for their input and contributions to the rules. Now, go forth and happy Model Tipping!

*Model Tipping is extreme fantasy sport and complete, utter fiction and should not be attempted by those with heart conditions, bad backs, weak ankles, or extreme shyness. Players and models assume responsibilty for all risks involved and agree to hold the creators blameless for all injuries, heart breaks, and jealous spouses, significant others, and/or partners.

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